Attraction may seem mysterious, but scientists believe that it can be split of in to different categories including physical attraction, behaviors, and pair bonding. Physical attraction is the first step in a relationship. It relies heavily on visual cues and split second judgement of physical traits that show the good health of the mate.
Visual attraction is dependent on symmetry, hormonally driven features, and even smell. The features make us feel interested in a particular mate, even though most don’t understand the roots of these feelings.
After two mates are attracted to each other based on these physical characteristics, behaviors are judged in order to see if the two are compatible.
Some scientists believe that most people are attracted to mates that exhibit similar behaviors as they do. It was found that mates with similar genetics were more likely to have happy marriages.
Once a bond is created based on physical and behavioral traits, a relationship is formed. Some relationships are long lasting, while others are short lived. So why would one relationship survive, when others fail. Experts separate relationships into 5 distinct stages:
Stage 1: The Honeymoon
It is in this stage that couples are idealistic, ardent, and very optimistic about their relationship. Problems are very rare and the basis for a misunderstanding is so insignificant that within a few minutes to a few hours, you are both over it. You always want to show affection to your partner and to make love often. This may not be the case for all couples but as a rule, this stage is characterized by thinking about your partner and wanting to be with them.
Stage 2: The Accommodation
In this stage, the pair starts to face reality. It is in this stage that roles are recognized, expectations are laid down and give-and-take rules are made.
Often this is where clashes occur, with both partners aiming to be dominant. This is the time to learn about problem solving, conflict management and communication with your partner.
Stage 3: The Challenge
A couple doesn’t actually realize how strong their bond is until they have troubles thrown at them by life in general. This stage permits partners to know what they can expect from each other at difficult times. Each partner has their own ideas about how to raise children and how to deal with the extended family.
The challenge is to be aware of these ideas and come to a mutual agreement. Sometimes the relationship has not turned out to be how one or other of the partners expected. This is the time when partners may find themselves attracted to other people, and infidelity may occur.
How a couple handle this stage will decide the path they will take in the next stage.
Stage 4: The Crossroads
Once couples arrive at this stage they have already faced some problems and now other life choices will have to be made. Many difficulties have already occurred and the couple has learned how each other reacts in various circumstances. The emotional patterns of each are evident and they have recognized patterns of handling problems. It is common for difficulties to crop up in this stage, but because they have already faced many challenges, there is a good chance of working through these and getting to the final stage.
Stage 5: Rebirth
It is projected that only 20% of all couples make it to this stage. By this time they have come to understand their chosen partner. Couples discover how and when to negotiate and they understand each other’s differences with the minimum of disagreement. In this stage couples learn to re-value and love each other all over again.
In many instances, a couple’s attraction for each other fades because they drift apart. Love must be fostered as well as each other’s needs and desires and they should take time to be together – to be in touch and to value each other’s point of view. Any love will weaken if it is not given any attention and no effort is made to keep it alive. Love lingers through friendship, sex, and talking to each other. Do not take love for granted because if you do, it may vanish.