Attraction may seem mysterious, but scientists believe that it can be split of in to different categories including physical attraction, behaviors, and pair bonding. Physical attraction is the first step in a relationship. It relies heavily on visual cues and split second judgement of physical traits that show the good health of the mate.

Visual attraction is dependent on symmetry, hormonally driven features, and even smell. The features make us feel interested in a particular mate, even though most don’t understand the roots of these feelings.

After two mates are attracted to each other based on these physical characteristics, behaviors are judged in order to see if the two are compatible.

Some scientists believe that most people are attracted to mates that exhibit similar behaviors as they do. It was found that mates with similar genetics were more likely to have happy marriages.

Once a bond is created based on physical and behavioral traits, a relationship is formed. Some relationships are long lasting, while others are short lived. So why would one relationship survive, when others fail. Experts separate relationships into 5 distinct stages:

Stage 1: The Honeymoon

It is in this stage that couples are idealistic, ardent, and very optimistic about their relationship. Problems are very rare and the basis for a misunderstanding is so insignificant that within a few minutes to a few hours, you are both over it. You always want to show affection to your partner and to make love often. This may not be the case for all couples but as a rule, this stage is characterized by thinking about your partner and wanting to be with them.

Stage 2: The Accommodation

In this stage, the pair starts to face reality. It is in this stage that roles are recognized, expectations are laid down and give-and-take rules are made.

Often this is where clashes occur, with both partners aiming to be dominant. This is the time to learn about problem solving, conflict management and communication with your partner.

Stage 3: The Challenge

A couple doesn’t actually realize how strong their bond is until they have troubles thrown at them by life in general. This stage permits partners to know what they can expect from each other at difficult times. Each partner has their own ideas about how to raise children and how to deal with the extended family.

The challenge is to be aware of these ideas and come to a mutual agreement. Sometimes the relationship has not turned out to be how one or other of the partners expected. This is the time when partners may find themselves attracted to other people, and infidelity may occur.

How a couple handle this stage will decide the path they will take in the next stage.

Stage 4: The Crossroads

Once couples arrive at this stage they have already faced some problems and now other life choices will have to be made. Many difficulties have already occurred and the couple has learned how each other reacts in various circumstances. The emotional patterns of each are evident and they have recognized patterns of handling problems. It is common for difficulties to crop up in this stage, but because they have already faced many challenges, there is a good chance of working through these and getting to the final stage.

Stage 5: Rebirth

It is projected that only 20% of all couples make it to this stage. By this time they have come to understand their chosen partner. Couples discover how and when to negotiate and they understand each other’s differences with the minimum of disagreement. In this stage couples learn to re-value and love each other all over again.

In many instances, a couple’s attraction for each other fades because they drift apart. Love must be fostered as well as each other’s needs and desires and they should take time to be together – to be in touch and to value each other’s point of view. Any love will weaken if it is not given any attention and no effort is made to keep it alive. Love lingers through friendship, sex, and talking to each other. Do not take love for granted because if you do, it may vanish.

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Are You A Narcissist?

March 29th, 2012 | Posted by admin in Personality Types - (0 Comments)

Many of us want to be noticed, but narcissists struggle to be the center attention AT ALL TIMES.

This personality type usually shows up in youth, when a person wants to always be the lead in a school play, the talk of all water cooler activity in the office, or the center of discussion for friends or family.

- Not everyone who is attention seeking is a narcissist, but odds are that you know someone who has narcissistic features.

What is Narcissism?

Sometimes referred to as Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  The word Narcissism came from the Greek legend, Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection. It is classified as a Type B Personality disorder in which a person incessantly seeks attention from the people surrounding him or her and engages in unpredictable, dramatic and poignant actions.

Symptoms of Narcissism 

A person is said to be a Narcissist when he or she exhibits a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or deeds), require for admiration, and not having empathy towards others.  It arises in as little as 2% to 3% of the population in general and in 3% to 15% of the clinical population. About 60% to 75% of people affected with this disorder are men. Narcissistic behaviors can be seen in teenage years, but do not automatically denote that it will progress when a person reaches middle age.

These people may present as conceited or snooty. They are not able to distinguish or to identify with the feelings and concerns of other people. Resentment and enviousness towards others may also be conveyed because they truthfully believe that any gratitude or material accomplishments achieved by others should be theirs.

- People with this persona have a tendency to sneer at, demean, or discount others’ thoughts and feelings. They often flaunt their pomposity explicitly, or they inaudibly might anticipate to be acknowledged for their alleged importance.

In narcissists, the thought-process is undamaged, but insight into certain types of emotional situations is narrowed or reduced. These people may consider themselves to be better quality and overly-exceptional. They are unable to realize that their actions are the cause of their own problems: and worse, they believe their troubles resulted from others’ mistakes. Their self-worth is almost always frail and feeble. They are easily upset to disapproval and necessitate unvarying consideration and appreciation. They frequently show a sense of power and entitlement above others.

They are constantly looking for special treatment from others and often are irritated or angry when they do not get it. Narcissists converse their own ideas in lengthy detail without thoughtfulness for the needs and desires of others and often become intolerant or disdainful of those who discuss their own needs and concerns. Narcissism greatly affects not only the people suffering from the disorder but also the ones who surround them. At work, they may experience success because they are go-getting and self-assured.

Judge yourself: Are You A Narcissist?

Here are some questions that could help you detect if you or someone you know exhibits traits of  Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

1 – Do you think that you’re exceptional and one-of-a-kind above the others?

2 – Do you have a flamboyant sense of self-superiority? Or do you overstate your accomplishments and abilities?

3 – Do you lack compassion and is reluctant to distinguish the needs and desires of others?

4 – Do you take pleasure in extreme praise from others?

5 – Are you preoccupied with visions of supremacy, victory, and beauty?

6 – Are you conceited? Or do you exhibit puffed-up manners or approach towards other people?

Remember, these are just questions to can help you self-assess, and are not intended to diagnose. Individual psychotherapy is the most effective management, and hospitalization is uncommon unless other serious conditions are present for which the person necessitates inpatient treatment.

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Studies have show that there are two different types of people when it comes to life experiences and relationships. There are thrill-seekers and there are people that avoid risk and tend to gravitate toward “comfort”. It is not always black and white, and there are a wide spectrum of personality traits that lie in the middle.

In a relationship, thrill-seekers and comfort seekers are opposites and would tend to clash over, as they would desire different things. Thrill seekers tend to be out-going and open to new experiences. They would be more interested in a fun night out, or a gathering with lots of interesting and unique people. On the other hand comfort-seekers would rather stay home and watch a movie.

- If people in a relationship have these opposite characteristics, it would tend to drive a wedge between them, as they have different goals.

Thrill Seekers

People who seek adventure and engage in high risk behavior tend to have higher levels of dopamine, than people who aren’t thrill seeking. Studies have showed that their brains tend to release more dopamine than normal. People with these physical traits were more likely to “explore novel environments”, but also more likely to become addicted to drugs such as cocaine.

As far as relationships go, thrill seekers often have a higher number of partners and engage in sexually risky behaviors. The risk seeking genes, also can predict infidelity at higher levels. This type of infidelity is driven by the need to have new experiences. So even if you feel compatible, when your first meet, the longer a relationship lasts, the more obvious these differences become.

Comfort-Seekers

People look to relationships to lower their levels of anxiety and put them at ease, tend to be in this category. People seeking comfort are looking for stability and dependability in a relationship. They are not looking for new experiences or to engage in risky types of behaviors. These behaviors can extend into different aspects of a person’s life. This would include work, money, as well as relationships. Comfort seekers tend to play it safe in their financial lives as well. They are less likely to make riskier investments, such as the stock market.

Relationships with Thrill Seekers and Comfort Seekers

Considering that these two groups of people have completely different drives and motivations, their relationships also tend to be very different. Thrill seekers may tend to fall in and out of love more quickly. They enjoy meeting new people, so their relationships can be fleeting. If you are in a relationship with this type of person, it can be more interesting because they enjoy going out, drinking, and having a good time. The downside would be that they are much more likely to cheat and seek a new relationship after the novelty has worn off.

Comfort seekers are more likely to seek partner and stick with them for a long time. They find happiness in a routine and enjoy coming home to the same person every day.

- If you are looking for a long-term stable relationship, this is the type of person you might want to seek out. They will be less interested in going out often, but less likely to cheat as well.

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Recently scientists have been looking into statistics generated by online dating sites as a way to study human compatibility. All of this never before seen data can be used to see what daters respond to mentally, physically, and emotionally. This new source of information can help scientists understand what physical characteristics and personality traits help form a solid couple. These studies have led many of the top dating sites like eHarmony, Perfect Match, and Chemistry.com to create unique algorithms that try to match couples based on scientific data.

Some scientists question this type of matchmaking, because it has not undergone scrutiny or peer reviews. But, proponents like the designer of Chemistry.com’s algorithm, Dr. Helen Fisher, attempt to create relationships by matching characteristics associated with brain chemistry and hormonal system. One of these systems was the dopamine system that is associated with “risk-taking, novelty-seeking, curiosity, creativity, spontaneity”.

Single people all have a mental idea of what traits they desire in a mate. Unfortunately, many experts say that this list of traits does not usually lead to a beneficial outcome. As a single person, a first choice might not necessarily be the best in the long term. The dating site, eHarmony, has created a matching algorithm that is based on core personality traits. It has often been noticed that many couples have similar characteristics. This algorithm seeks to match people on like characteristics like disposition, social skills, and personality type. This algorithm is based on the belief that “like-minded” individuals are more compatible for a long term relationship.

Chemistry.com on the other hand has a matching algorithm that is based on “chemical systems in the brain”, psychological profiling, and social aptitude. This is an improvement when compared to daters that choose their own matches. Research has shown that singles only actually went on a date around 1% of the dating profiles they viewed. So, our own split second judgement when it comes to choosing a long-term potential mate, may be flawed.

The Personality Test

Online dating has turned into a billion dollar a year business and there is plenty of money to fund these complex matching algorithms. Most of these are based off extensive personality testing that each user completes when they first sign up. These test can be extremely long, consisting of up to 400 questions. Eharmoney claims to match against “29 dimensions of compatibility” that are created out of the extensive questionaires. The questionnaire looks to get to the root of a single person’s personality traits, morals, likes and dislikes. This data is then analyzed and matched against the questionnaires of potential matches. A list of matches is then presented to the user in their account or sent via email.

Science of Compatibility

Many different factors help couples create a romantic bond. As science delves deeper into understanding how attraction forms, biological traits like dissimilar immune systems, hormonal fluctuations in both men and women, and even birth order factor into whether two people are compatible. Immune system compatibility is the first laboratory that might allow future couples to predict a long term outcome of a relationship. As scientists come to understand the genetic and physical factors which create attraction, a blood test might eventually be able to determine whether you and your mate are truly compatible.

Dating in a Virtual Environment

There are a few complanies seeking to match customers based on their intereactions in a virtual environment. One such site is called Omnidate. The theory behind virtual dating is that a comfortable environment can more easily help 2 people get to know each other. A “virtual date” is a safe place where two people can meet, communicate, and ultimately decide whether or not they are compatible. Some think that meeting a potential date in a virtual environment may not show if the 2 are truly compatible, as people tend to act differently online, when compared to real life situations. Sites like Omnidate, Virtual Date Space, and NewFriends4U.

 

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1 of the biggest factors in success with dating on the internet is presenting the right types of profile photos. The images a person uploads will have a large effect on how many contacts that are made, the quality of people contacting, and the seriousness of the communication. There are certain type of pictures that will improve your success rate with online dating.

These include the images with: eye contact, showing skin, subject matter of the photo, smiling, using a flash, and depth of field. 

 

Eye Contact

One thing that online daters respond to in a photo is “eye contact”. The effects of eye contact in a dating profile picture differed, based on the gender of the person in the pictures.

For women, a picture that showed them smiling and making eye contact with the camera, had a greater chance of receiving messages.

This is very interesting because it turned out to be the exact opposite for men. Men who had images in which they were not looking at the camera or smiling, got the best reaction from women.

- This may be true based on the fact that women have been shown to most attracted to mates with a high social status. A picture of a man who looks like he isn’t trying too hard, seemed to have a greater appeal to women. This is also backed by the fact that women had a “lower rate of response” to men that were dressed up, compared to men that were dressed casually.

Self Shot Pictures

Images in which the user took their own photographs also tended to fare very well. This type of picture is very common on online dating profiles and on Facebook.

Women who used the “self shot” pictures had the most success when compared to pictures showing them engaged in a hobby/activity, showing cleavage, or hanging out with friends.

- “Cleavage shots” were found to be very effective at increasing the amount of responses that a user would receive, but the quality and seriousness of the communications were lower.

Types of Pictures

For men and women a profile shot which showed a little skin tended to fair pretty well. Pictures that showed a user engaging in an interesting activity was effective, but did not generate as many messages as they did when showing a little bit of skin.

- Another interesting bit of data showed that men who had pictures with their pets received the largest amount of emails. This was not true for women.

Type of Camera

It was found in general that higher quality cameras were found to take pictures that people saw as more attractive. Users perceived images that were taken with expensive cameras with interchangeable lenses, to be more attractive than lower quality cameras. On the other hand profile pictures that were shot with a camera phone were seen as more unattractive.

Using a flash was seen to make the users less attractive. This might be because lighting from a flash tended to bring out blemishes, wrinkles, and the effects of aging in the photos. One set of statistics showed the users rated the age of a person as being 7 years old on average if they used flash photography.

The depth of field was also found to be a factor in what men and women responded to in an online dating photo. Pictures that had a clear picture of the subject in the foreground, while the background was blurred were seen as more attractive. It is not known why users tended to respond better to this type of picture, but it was shown over a large range of user data.

 

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Top 10 Most Bizarre Online Dating Sites

January 18th, 2012 | Posted by admin in Dating - (0 Comments)

The internet is full of dating sites that cater to unique, strange, or bizarre interests. These interests can seem very obscure, but considering the world population, the pool of people with these unique interests can become significant.

Here is a list of the 10 most unique, interesting, or shocking dating sites on the web:

1) Vampirerave.com

 - This dating/social community caters to people that identify as being vampires or associated with the gothic scene. It boasts a large active community and thousands of members.
- The site has a red and black color scheme and pictures of members dressed in gothic style clothing, tattoos, and vampire fangs. It is a site you will want to check out, even if you don’t consider yourself a member of the walking undead.


2) Darwin Dating

This site has gotten alot of press, due to its exclusion on non-beautiful people. It is unique in the fact that it tries to be exclusive. If a member is accepted, they might feel like it confirms them as a good looking person.

- The site also boasts a list of the best looking people on the site, that are rated by other members. They have a specific list of traits that would disinclude members including people that are: overweight, or unattractive.

3) Till-Death-Do-Us-Part.com

– The currently defunct site was created specifically for terminally ill people. It never gained much of a following and is no longer up and running, but it is one of the most unique niche dating sites that we’ve ever heard of.

- When we checked out the site, to our surprise we did NOT see any members wearing spock ears. People in this community varied widely in their age, race, and locations.

4) MeetAnOstomate

this community/dating site serves to connect people who have had Colostomies or Ileostomies. People who have had this surgery have to urinate or defecate into a pouch that is connected to parts of their digestive tract. We can definitely see the need for a site like this, as things might get a little complicated if a date progressed past 2nd base for a person with this medical issue.

5) Trek Passions

 - this dating and social community seeks to match star trek fans of all ages. With the motto “live long and prosper”, its not secret where the site got its inspiration. Star trek fans are very passionate and it’s not a surprise to see an active community centered around star trek and science fiction.

6) Ashley Madison

 - This site caters to a very specific clientelle, who would like to anonymously cheat on their spouses. The site allows people who are married or in a serious relationship to safely cheat on their significant other. It is surprisingly popular at over 10 million members. The daiily traffic of this site is also significant at a reported 700,000 visitors per day.

- When we did a quick search of the site, profile images did show up. This is strange because the site is supposed to be meant for people in attached, commited, relationships that are looking to cheat.

7) Tall Personals

This dating site seeks to provide a community of really TALL people the opportunity to date one another and have very tall children. Even though the need for this type of dating site seemed questionable to use, the site stats showed that it was an active community. It stated that there were almost 6000 profiles. The site is free to join, but ad supported.

8 – Farmers Only

this site is exactly as the name implies, a dating community dedicated to matching farmers or people that are interested in farming. The tag line for the site is “Because city folks just don’t get it.” As a resident of a major city, our team would have to agree with that statement!

- After digging further into the site, we have found a few reasons we believe that farmers would only want to date other farmers. One aspect of this is the unusual daily schedule. This may include rising at 4:30-5:00 am and going to sleep at 9:00 pm. Also, this community seemed to be centered around traditional family values and the outdoor lifestyle.

9DateMyPet

– this community is built for pet lovers, by pet lovers. The site offers advice for bring your pets on trips and on dates. It is targeted toward people that love their pets, and love people that love their pets (does that make sense?). the site is free, but ad supported. It has had major media exposure including mentions on TV shows like Regis and Kelly and MSNBC.

10)  Veggie Romance

 - Even though considering yourself a vegetarian is much more socially acceptable than considering yourself to be a vampire, we still had to include it on our list. The site connects vegetarian, vegan, and people that are “environmentally aware”. There are many other site in this niche including VeganPassions, EthicalSingles, and Veggie Date.

- Although vegetarianism is common, we were very surprised at the sheer amount of sites that center around connecting people with these interests. These sites had very active communities and a wide variety of members from all ethnicities and backgrounds.

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Dating on the internet can make for some interesting, and sometimes unusual experiences. There are 100′s of popular dating sites to choose from including, monthly subscription sites, free “ad supported” site, and niche sites. Some of these sites may offer a better experience, for people that are looking for marriage, or a serious relationship. There are positives and negatives to each type of dating site.

Here are the 3 main types of dating sites, plus their positives and negatives:

Subscription Sites

Higher quality dating sites like eHarmony, Match, and Chemistry.com are more expensive “closed” dating sites, that may be more appropriate to find marriage. Many serious daters prefer this type of service because it offers matchmaking, the other daters on the service may also be leaning towards a serious relationship, instead of a “fling”.

The reason this is true is because of how these sites operate. The monthly fee actually serve as a good “screen” to keep out people who aren’t seriously looking for a relationship. The fact that it takes an hour or so to fill out the questionnaire’s on these sites and that subscriptions cost $30-$100 per month, will weed out a good portion of people that aren’t serious about finding a relationship.

Privacy On Subscription Sites

Subscription sites are “closed” system for the average internet user. This offers more privacy and ensures that a user’s personal information and pictures will not be exposed to the public internet. Online dating scams have become popular in recent years, but most of the larger subscription dating sites do a good job at keeping these people off of their system. In some cases, subscription sites do background check on their members, BEFORE they are allowed to sign up. This would save you the time and expense of having to do a background or criminal check on your date.

Free Sites

This type of site includes Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid, and Mingle 2. They are completely ad supported, so users do not have to pay anything in order to access the wide range of features. These sites differ from the subscription model, as they are “open systems”. When you use a free dating site, the information and images you post are viewable to all other members on the system. Users on free sites, tend to be younger and also less prone towards serious relationships. It is still very possible to find a serious relationship on this type of site, you may have to do a little bit of extra searching and go on a few more dates to find the right person. In order to do this, try setting specific search criteria when looking for compatible members to email. Search only for members that are also looking for a serious relationship. This will help to reduce any “regrettable encounters”, that could cause a bad experience.

You may have to be more careful about things like identity theft on free sites. When you post your information, be careful as to not reveal too much information about yourself. In certain instances, this info has been used to hack accounts or for other types of illegal activity.

Niche Sites

Another type of dating site that is becoming very popular are niche dating sites. These sites have members that have a specific trait or engage in a specific type of activity. There are sites that cater specifically to musicians, golfers, single parents, or vegetarians. If you have an unusual interest that you are looking to share with someone, this may be a good place for you to find that person. Odds are that there is a site specifically create for any unique interest that you have.

The negatives to this type of site is that many of them may be more or less a “bait and switch”. It might be difficult to find a large collection of people with a very specific interest. Sometimes the sites advertise a site full of members with the unique characteristic that you are looking for, but then connect you to a database of users that doesn’t fit your criteria after you pay.

 

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Whether people want to believe it or not, an online dating profile, is essentially a sales page to other single people. If you want to be contacted by the right type of person, you need to put some work into it.

Unique Greetings

With an online dating site, women get messaged much more often than men. Men tend to seek out the relationships, while women tended to wait for men to contact them. We found that men were much more likely to get a response back if they put a little “extra work” into their first contacts. A subject line like “you look pretty in your pictures”, would fare much better than “hi”. Writing something “unique or interesting” to set you apart from other single guys is important.

We also discovered that if the body of the email contained information about an interest or shared hobby, the response rate really shot through the roof. Basically, women wanted to see some type of effort put into the message.

Unique Pictures

The “interesting and unique” profile picture was a huge factor in how many times a woman or man was contacted. The strange part about it is the the most obviously good looking people, did not get the most attention. Women or men who were attractive, but had a unique or “quirky” look, received the most messages.

Pictures that showed a man or woman engaged in their hobbies, got alot more attention. We believe that it helps make the person appear well rounded and interesting.

- Posting pictures that showed you out with family and friends was also found to be important.

In advertising, having testimonials from customers is called “social proof”. In the online dating world this really isn’t much different. Having pictures of you hanging out with your group of friends, shows that:

1) you actually have friends

2) you are socially capable

3) you can improve their social life

Women tend to respond much more to higher social status, than looks. In this case, it was particularly important to show the potential date that you have an active social life. Men, on the other hand responded to looks more than anything else. But, they tended to not message the best looking women on the site. Women who were considered to be attractive, but not perfect, got the highest levels of attention. This fact should encourage men and women to message the more “beautiful people” on the site. As this group tended to not get as much attention as one might think.

Talk About Your Hobbies in Detail

Sharing a common hobby is one of the best ways to make a quick connection. Having an interest in the same genre of music was one of the most common ways that daters would open up a conversation. If you like heavy metal music, talk about it on your page. List your favorite bands, any concerts you have been too, and if you play any instruments. The OKCupid blog states that messages about bands, (specifically heavy metal bands) led to the best results.

- You may want to specifically search for your interest to see if anyone shares them. If you find someone that you are compatible with and they share an interest with you on top of this, you have a better shot. Go out of your way to mention this interest, in your first message. You are much more likely to get a response.

Share Your Religion, or Lack Of

Specifically talking about your religious beliefs is important for a long term connection. Atheism (or lack of religious belief) was a very common term and we found that it was very likely to garner a response if this person also shared the same beliefs. This was also true concerning other types of religious beliefs including Christians, Jews, and Muslims.

Don’t Be So Cocky

Another trend that we noticed was that daters who used language that was less confident, received many more responses. Guys that emailed girls with language that was less self assured, got a better response rate. Guys were also found to email women who had language on their profile that seemed less self assured.

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As we fall over the cliff that is “age 40″, there are fewer parties and social events to meet new single people. By this time, most have settled down with their families and their time is taken up with work and children. You may have to go out of your way to try new activities and create new connections. These days it’s possible to use the internet to connect make new relationships.

Here are a list of places to meet people over the age of 40:

1) College Classes: Taking a fun college class like art or music is a way to get out of the house and be around people that are doing something fun. Classes like these have college aged kids, but also older people that are taking the class for entertainment purposes. This is a good way to fill up time and have fun, while being around new people.

Classes that are less for academic and more for entertainment purposes are: sculpture, guitar, photography, film studies, and yoga.

2) Singles Cruises: When most people think of singles cruises, they think of the “cheesy” old sitcom “The Love Boat”. This type of cruise has changed dramatically, since the 70′s. There are many different types of cruises that over everything from a driving range (if you love golf), to art and music classes. There are also specialty cruises that specialize in unique things like archeology or art.

Finding the right cruise is essential if you plan to have alot of fun. If you want to meet single people in your age range, you should not go on a family cruise. Find a specific cruise theme that fits your personality and lifestyle.

3) Online Dating: Dating on the internet is one of the easiest ways to meet people in the 21st century. This will help with any age range, or any unique circumstances. Specialty sites based on religion, sports, and sexual orientation allow for the opportunity to very easily connect with alot of people with similar interests.

There are both paid and free dating sites that have advantages and disadvantages. Paid dating communities are walled off from the prying eyes of the internet. This allows you to do this anonymously, without exposing your pictures and personal information to the outside world. Free dating sites are ad supported and offer many or all of their matchmaking services for free. The main negative to free sites is that they are accessible to everyone. This might be the way to go if you aren’t concerned with anonymity.

4) Speed Dating: this type of dating experience allows you to meet 10 to 20 single people in rapid succession. Some people might not be comfortable with the rapid pace of these meetings. It may be difficult for those people that have trouble making casual conversations or meeting new people. But, if you want the quickest way possible to make some new romantic connections, this is a great way to get to know people without grinding it out in the bar scene.

There are also different types of speed dating including special nights for vegetarians, tattooed people, and artists.

5) The Gym: One of the most overlooked places to meet a single person in your area is at the gym. It is extremely easy to start up a conversation when running next to someone on the treadmill. It is very likely that you will run into the same people if you go at the same times throughout the day. These people will all live locally to you and it is easy to make new connections.

One of the better places to meet people in the gym are in yoga or spin classes. You will be in much closer proximity with the other gym members, and you will be very likely to see them on a regular basis.

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The biggest “obstacle” to finding a relationship online, is getting the initial response…

If you have a high school yearbook photo, as your  main profile image, you are wasting money on a dating subscription. There may be hundreds of eligible singles on the dating site that scroll right past you, because your profile is BORING!

Setting yourself out from the crowd by being unique or interesting will generate a flood of responses.

Use Your Profile to Show “Uniqueness”

online dating profile tips

Attention grabbing pictures and background info are the key getting a ton of great responses. Funny or interesting profile pictures attract comments and alot of interest in your profile. If you get funny or interesting, comments, they will lead to many more connections on the site.

The “connections” or friendships which develop from commenting back and forth, may eventually lead to some type of relationship. Here are 5 tips t o make your profile more interesting:

1) Pictures of You and Your Hobby – the blog for the dating site Ok Cupid has alot of great information about what daters are attracted to. One of the most interesting things they found out was that profiles which contained pictures of a person engaged in their hobby were about double as likely to be contacted. This type of picture is key to getting the most form your online dating experience.

2) Social Proof – One thing other daters like to see are pictures of you having fun with your friends. This is called “social proof”. Social proof is especially important when you are not a face to face conversation. This helps to verify that you do have a normal social life.

3) What You Want – people that are looking to date often want very different things from a relationship. People can be compatible, but be at completely different stages in their life. If you want to have fun and party, you might want to say that on your profile. Getting attention from people that want to settle down and have kids is just a waste of your time.

4) Be Honest – Lying on a profile will only cause problems down the line. Telling people that you are a certain age or have a certain job, when you really don’t, will send the other person running. Truth is very important on a dating site. If you get caught lying, you’ve most likely destroyed any chance you have for a relationship.

5) Show Your Personality – If you have a boring profile, you might come off as a boring person. Take a little bit of extra time and put some though into what you write. This will give the other person information about you, so you can strike up a conversation.

How to Avoid “Acting” Desperate

One of the biggest turn-offs in internet dating is jealously. This is especially true if a relationship hasn’t really been established yet. Most dating site contain huge databases that are full of single people. Becoming emotionally involved with the first person you communicate with, excludes MANY suitable matches.

If your romantic interest talks about communicating with other people, it should be a signal to you that you should do the same. You might come full circle and start dating eventually, but start meeting more people on the site and see everything that is available.

- When you first start out, try and make some friends. Once you get accustomed to how thing work, trying persuing a relationship.

Don’t Take Rejection Personal

There may be hundreds of local people on a big dating site. If you make the first contact, odds are that you will get rejected some of the time.

- Rebounding from this rejection is part of the dating process. If you feel like you aren’t making progress with one person, move on to another one.

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